TIGSource: The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children

The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children

Derek Yu — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 09:39:00 +0000

I have contention with today’s Game Giveaway of the Day, which is described as follows:

Puzzle Mania: Chronicles of Unicorn is a unique game combining new but recognizable gameplay and perfect plot which will take you through all the game levels to the aim of your journey!

This part is mostly okay. The game is indeed unique, and the gameplay is certainly new and recognizable. Unique and new in the sense that I have never played a game where you solve jigsaw puzzles in order to find a unicorn. Recognizable in the sense that I have seen a jigsaw puzzle before. Just once, when I went on a trip and stayed in a cabin which smelled like wood.

I have a problem with the word “perfect,” though, because even though the plot is indeed amazing and incredible (because it involves finding a unicorn), is it perfect? That’s a bit of a stretch, for any game. I think it also places undue pressure on our children to try and attain a level of superiority that is reserved for unicorns.

Thankfully, the plot does take you through all the game levels. Thank Jesus!

Each stage is unique and does not repeat throughout the game, as well as the form of puzzles for each level. Mini-games which are an integral part of the Puzzle Mania world are prepared for you between the game stages.

Mmm, yes, the stages do not repeat. That is good. That always pissed me off how in Donkey Kong, after you beat stage four you’d have to go back to stage one. That was just some bullshit. I shot someone with a handgun the first time I found that out.

Mini-games are good, too. The way potato chips are good in between breakfast and lunch. Just give me some micro-games in between the mini-games, and I’ll be fit to be tied.

But your main aim is to rescue the last survived unicorn!

This is the part I have a contention with, because the “screenshot” clearly shows that the unicorn is right there, on the title screen! That was easy. But then when I load up the game itself, the unicorn is gone.

They photoshopped the damn unicorn. They tricked me.

So don’t be fooled, my friends – Puzzle Mania: Chronicles of the Unicorn contains very little actual unicorn.

(Also, you can totally see his dick up there.)

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by th15

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 11:19:43 +0000

Damnit Derek, you’ve inflicted Uniporn on mine eyes. It burns!

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Paracetamol

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:43:04 +0000

Ah, ok, so for Europe: 22:00 for the guys in Britain (and … Portugese?) and 23:00 for the German, French and Scandinavian. And Polish, Italians, ..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_zone

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Horatius

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:24:31 +0000

Thanks for that review, it was magical. More please.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Karzon

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 20:11:10 +0000

Some say it’s a children’s game with unicorn dick. I say it’s a step in the right direction.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by data

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:52:53 +0000

haowan, you say that as if we were talking about an insult… ;)

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by ithamore

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:07:48 +0000

Unicorns? That reminded me of one of PBF’s online comic strips, Nice T Shirt, which (containing only 4 frames) probably exceeds this game in terms of content.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by haowan

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:17:14 +0000

It’s not aimed at you, raelz.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by raelz

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:21:52 +0000

Lolz I don’t get this And I don’t get the game either, whats the point of doing puzzle like this :(

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Terry

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:01:46 +0000

It is, too. I forget who gave me the link, but it was someone on TIG IRC:

Dai Mahou Touge

Extreme cuteness meets extreme violence. AWESOME :D

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by haowan

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:54:05 +0000

That anime is absolutely awesome. AWESOME

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Mosh

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:39:13 +0000

That was just some bullshit. I shot someone with a handgun the first time I found that out.

I’m briefly reminded of Eddie Murphy. It brings a tear to my eye.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Valzi

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:02:06 +0000

Digital jigsaw puzzles suck. Especially if they are all about unicorns. There should be ogres and maybe Grendel.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by JohnB

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:11:58 +0000

Yeah, um, I tend to stay away from games that feature unicorn genitalia. Just one of my guiding principles of life. EleFun Games = fail.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Derek Poo

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:10:35 +0000

In fact, all horses and unicorns do have dicks or pussies.

http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Equus_caballus.html

If they are not puritan horses and unicorns, of course.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Skaldicpoet9

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:08:29 +0000

“In the Magic Kingdom mushrooms grow on Unicorn’s heads”

…lol

Man, that was terrible.

btw, I think Unicorns are endangered, so I guess that’s why it is such a big deal to find the last one for procreation purposes of course…

I don’t know about asexual reproduction…

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Advenith

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:05:48 +0000

This picture in loving memory of Mr. Hands.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Oddbob

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:01:54 +0000

I mean, it’s clearly not the last of the unicorns.

There’s loads here - not safe for anything though.

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by Terry

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:42:13 +0000

They call it a mushroom, but it’s not a mushroom…

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by quamper

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:33:53 +0000

That’s pretty good stuff…

Unfortunately now Tigsource can’t claim to be “Less Unicorn than Ever”

and haven’t you ever heard of asexual reproduction. Surely Unicorns have the market cornered on that.. Why else do they have the “horn”?

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by MedO

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:30:58 +0000

Duh, sequence its genome and clone it!

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by drew

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:07:53 +0000

I can understand saving the last pair of unicorns, but once you’re down to a single unicorn, what’s the point, really?

"The Last of the Unicorns, the First of the Children" by BMcC

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:46:25 +0000

Hah hah, you so can!