Lifestyles of the Miserable and Dwarfish

Posted by Derek Yu Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:07:00 GMT

Sad Dwarf

I love trawling the Dwarf Fortress forums looking for interesting stories. Given the open-ended nature of the game, you never know what kinds of things will come up. Remember the rat that was killed by spinning vomit?

Here’s a real gem, though:

I hit the adamantine pits prematurely and ended up getting my entire fortress slaughtered… except for one lone baby. The baby was extremely sad and slowly crawled its way through the limbs of his dead mother and father and through the carnage of the fortress.
The baby found its way to a pool of water and proceeded to drown itself. The baby comitted suicide.

Part of a thread titled “The most horrible thing you have seen so far.” Dwarven life is not easy, my friends. Oh no.

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Comments

  1. Cow said 40 minutes later:

    hahaha oh man

    that’s classic

  2. Zeno said about 1 hour later:

    Wish I could ever muster up the patience to learn this game… :(

  3. Dusty Spur said about 1 hour later:

    If the baby was smart, he would have made a FLESH GOLEM.

    Stupid babies.

    (that is incredible)

  4. Gazillion said about 1 hour later:

    Zeno the learning curve looks a lot more steep than it actually is. I had never played a roguelike beforehand because I found the controls so counter intuitive but DF managed to keep me interested without ever getting frustrated. Here’s the original thread that got me hooked which contains a good tutorial on how to start up: http://www.gamedev.net/community/forums/topic.asp?topic_id=410478

  5. Pigbuster said about 3 hours later:

    It’s worth mentioning that the Mac port is coming rather soon. Wooooooooooooo.

  6. Advenith said about 4 hours later:

    A simulated dead baby joke. I think that’s a first.

  7. Chained to Fate said about 6 hours later:

    You want motivation to start DF? go Google Boatmurdred. It references an older version, but damn, it’ll keep you entertained!

  8. ultim8p00 said about 7 hours later:

    Epic lulz!

  9. ChrisL said about 8 hours later:

    Second the Boatmurdered suggestion. But only if you plenty of time to burn.

  10. Ok said about 8 hours later:

    Most stuff in stories isn’t in the game. It’s like making up stories about families of pixels which miraculously learned to form letters and graphics on our monitors. Actually, I love those little guys, weee!

  11. Ok said about 8 hours later:

    It’s a bit like EVE in that regard as well, half-baked connect-the-dot stories, in a restricted virtual world. Pen and paper RPGs have that beat.

  12. Nikica said about 9 hours later:

    That made me sad !!! Go Dwarf Fortress !!!

  13. MedO said 1 day later:

    Okay, this post finally made me start a fortress for the first time. I’m in autumn of the first year now with nothing cruel or unusual to report yet. I did screw up a bit though and my dwarves might starve in the winter if I’m unlucky… But I like the game a lot so far.

  14. dishwasherlove said 1 day later:

    Anyone deciding to start, use the wiki

    http://dwarf.lendemaindeveille.com/index.php/Main_Page

  15. Trotim said 1 day later:

    Eh, I will never get used to these roguelike controls. I have tried three times now and it’s just not my cup of tea.

    I’ll go play Dungeon Keeper now.

  16. sinoth said 1 day later:

    Probably the worst thing I’ve seen so far is related to my horrible water management.

    I tried to channel some water from a huge lake into my fortress so it wouldn’t freeze when winter rolled around. Turns out I didn’t understand pressure well enough, and created a super-pressurized underground pond. Things got nasty when all my dehydrated dwarves crowded around the pond to drink, which upset the surface of the water causing it to rise up violently and fill an entire fortress level.

    Being stuck in a cramped hallway with 20 other dwarves, instantly submerged and having no escape is not how I want to die. :(

  17. Novichock said 3 days later:

    First time I was playing adventurer, A lion knocked my head off with its first hit.

  18. toastie said 3 days later:

    Creepy auto-blogging poster alert (Viktor). What the hell are these????

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